The Corporate Language..

Well, at work, you got to be professional. Very diplomatic... Corporate culture is all about handling things professionally - meaning doing things objectively..meaning doing things out of your head ,meaning do not use ur emotions.. Meaning using ur IQ more than ur EQ…and so on.....That’s what they told me at my Entry level training and I thought vow, its going to be GITA IN ACTION whenever I am at work..

Now its like 6 years since I started work and here is what I have discovered.Ok ok let me be honest at least now :-). This is an email I got long back (I dugged it up becoz I had to write something in this blog :-).).I certify it 100% , endorse it 200% and I am in love with it for eternity :-) ….Here we go with the "Corporate Language" summed for everybodys eyes.

"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"

"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means

"I have no time now, will talk later"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"

"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".

"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"

Take care and I hope to get more and more time at work and Thanks Madhu, your wishes seem to be already working :-)